DRAMA POST WARNING: In high school I was introduced to a book called, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” by Joshua Harris. I read things here and there but slowly started to believe “courtship” was the only way to true and pure love and marriage. I read the next book, while my Mom began to question my thoughts and my stance on dating and marriage. She didn’t agree with my learned black and white view of dating I read about in these books. I didn’t listen. What teenage daughter listens to their “out dated, old fashioned” Mom? I began to feel shame for sexual thoughts, kissing my boyfriends and started to “court” men, instead of dating. Flash forward 10 years. I meet the love of my life and after years of therapy to let go of this romanticized view of the perfect way to enter marriage and shame, Will and I start to date. He respected me, but was always there to talk things out as I continued to question my thoughts and old views….as I started to listen to my Mom. We have been married for a year and a half, and this morning we talked about cults, about followings and he brought up “courtship” seeing that for some law enforcement agencies this is a buzz word for some cults they are investigating. I pulled up Joshua Harris’ book and saw this article. I am not sure I know what to say. I was greatly impacted by this man’s words and I was too young to know the difference. There are forums for people to voice their pain and anger. I have read quotes from people who still feel shame…. I am still digesting all of this…. Food for thought, thoughts for food.